Twilight: New Moon

When the vampires from EVERY other vampire movie get together and decide to fight the vampires of the Twilight series, I think the Cullens would have NO chance. Probably the girliest version of a blood sucker, the New Moon vampires are totally in tune with their emotions but out of touch with their ability to totally annihilate anyone if they really wanted to. After Edward Cullen (Pattinson) decides to leave Bella (Stewart) in order to protect her, Bella can only see Edward through visions when she does crazy, adventurous, extreme, or straight up stupid things. She finds consoling in Jacob (Lautner) a werewolf of course, who obviously hit the "roids" for the series. With love triangle complete, Bella has put the ancient laws of the vampire and werewolf treaty at risk as both are willing to fight for her love. Bella, who really only has love for Edward, basically just teases and uses Jacob so she can bide her time.

Taking Kristen Stewart, a notoriously emo, quirky actress, and making her into an adrenaline junkie, was a very strange turn to this story. I have not read the books and I can only HOPE that there was more too this situation in the real story because I think the movie hacked it. Like I said earlier, these vampires are wimpy. I feel this movie was never meant for a mans eyes to see. The biggest question for any woman after this film is if you are on Team Pattinson or Team Lautner...... :P On the D.L. I didnt MIND the movie, I just wanted more manliness from the monsters that I have loved in all their other type of movies.

My Elementary Grading Scale: Progressing Satisfactorily

1-10: 7.5

The Stepfather

After divorce, spouses often feel it necessary to eventually regain the nuclear family setting by finding a significant other to fill in the missing role. Unfortunately, this time, the divorce ex-wife found a serial killer to fill in that role and there is only one thing a serial killer wants to do when given the chance and opportunity.... kill everyone they can. This new father to be starts showing warning signs that there is something wrong, but as any horror movie goes, tell-tale signs always go either forgiven or unnoticed and sadly, it leads to 1st degree murders all over the place.

I thought that the horror film was actually quite good. It grabs at your emotions as you see a desperate mom yearning to bring her family together, an ex husband wanting to reconnect with his children who have turned their back on him for leaving, and a son who had just got back from military school struggling to get back into the family circle. All of this leads to a twisted tale of a fight for everyones lives as they slowly recognize that they have been duped by a serial killer. Its your everyday, normal "stepfather is actually a serial killer" scenario that we see every day in the real world. psyche! but its a good movie. I recommend it

My Elementary Grading Scale: Progressing Satisfactorily

1-10: 8

The Informant

So far, this is my first movie I watched that was made as an attempt to win an Oscar. Matt Damon stars as an informant to the FBI who gradually reveals that their is much more going on with himself than anyone expected. Damon's mental issues contribute to a wacky tale of a man trying to help himself while hurting his career. Unknowingly the FBI think they have found a helpful informant who just wants to do whats right. Fortunately, for the movie, there is more going on than what seems....

Clever writing and a great story to those looking for a human drama movie. This movie was what I would consider a period piece. The clothing, the offices, colors, everything down to the desk lamps were precisely 80's and 90's and looked great. For some reason in this film I noticed the set more than the actors sometime.... I am not a huge Damon fan (except for when he plays Jason Bourne) and I actually thought he was entertaining. Great performances by the other actors in this film just helped make the story that much more entertaining. I approve of this film. :)

My Elementary Grading Scale: Progressing Satisfactorily

1-10: 7.5/8

The Invention of Lying

Ricky Gervais' new film about a world where lying has simply not been invented. Ricky finds a way to do it by accident and it completely changes the world and the film takes an interesting look at what the art of "storytelling" has done to the world. By getting whatever he wants from lying, he becomes powerful beyond everyone after living a mediocre life of being undermined and lonely up to this point. His love, Jennifer Garner, finds him intriguing and likes his new found glory after explaining his new story to the world about God and what happens when we die, but Garner still cant find a way to love and/or date him. This crushes him and crushes him more when she falls for his arch enemy, his co-worker Rob Lowe, a much better looking but not as interesting man. He could get her to love him by lying to her but that is the one thing he cant do.

This film was very interesting. Definitely an original storyline and great cast of comedians (Louis C.K., Tina Fey, Jonah Hill, Ricky Gervais). It took on an approach that the whole idea of a God and that all religious history was a lie, so if you are touchy to that subject you may be offended, but if you are not easily detoured and enjoy a good story, then you will surely enjoy this film.

My Elementary Grading Scale: Exceeding Expectations

1-10: 9

Where The Wild Things Are

I probably shoulda seen this in the theaters to get the whole effect of this film I know that the scenery and CGI characters of the beloved storybook characters would have made a more dramatic effect if they had been seen as larger than life. Unfortunately, I had to see these on my computer and it may have taken away from the film. As a story, I think it was great. The classic childrens story by Maurice Sendak where the bratty Max learns a life lesson about growing up and responsibility through his "imaginary" journey to a far away land filled with monsters. As he becomes king and takes on responsibility, he soon learns that he can not live simply doing what he wants all the time and that his mother, back home, was not so bad after all. I think a younger crowd would simply adore this movie, but not too young. There were some scenes that if I were a toddler, I would definitely be scared silly.

My Elementary Grading Scale: Progressing Satisfactorily

1-10: 7.5

Couples Retreat

Almost everyone I know is a fan of Vince Vaughn. I think the best thing he does is ramble on continually explaining a topic until he runs out of breath. If you have seen ANY of his films, you will know what I mean. His BFF John Favreau teams up with him in this film (FYI: They met on the set of the sports classic film Rudy and have done alot together both filming and writing). This relational romantic comedy about a few couples who are all working on their relationships in some manner or another leaves three couples on a island retreat to put the spark back in their love lifes and at that moment, I hate to say, becomes very cliche. I dont know if its just me and my frustration with this type of film lately, or if movies have run out of new ways to portray this genre, but I was not too impressed. Not the top 20 of Vince Vaughn's films (if he has even been in 20).

My Elementary Grading Scale: Needs Improvement

1-10: 6

Carriers

I was let down by this film. Apocalyptic and zombie films are definitely my fave and this one was a very weak version of the both. It dealt more with a virus that left zombie-like people totally incapable of movement and following the survivors around as they searched for refuge was about as fun as watching the Senior Womens PGA Tour.

Needless to say I lost an hour and a half of my day with this one. Piper Perabo was the only star and she had a lackluster part that led her out of the story 2/3 through the movie. Skip this one. You arent missing anything.

My Elementary Grading Scale: Needs Improvement

1-10: 4.5

Paranormal Activity

FINALLY! A scary movie that made it hard for me to sleep at night. A reality-based film genre trying to go for the Blair Witch Vibe. A home video of a couple trying to raise a demonic presence from their house to prove that what the girlfriend had been experiencing her whole life, was in actuality, the real deal. After taunting this demon and undermining its power, all heck breaks loose. I will say two words for all of you who have seen the movie.... drag scene..... for those of you have not seen this movie, you will definitely be alarmed by this scene and the hair on the back of your neck will be raised. Dont watch this movie alone.

I was very impressed with this film because it was one of the films that encapsulates every aspect of a good scary story yet needs nothing but your own mind to make you scared. Sometimes its what you cannot see that makes us scared and that is exactly how much of this film worked.

My Elementary Grading Scale: Exceeding Expectations

1-10: 9

The Keeper

Steven Seagal's latest film has him as a vengeful cop out for justice after a crooked cop shot him and stole money from a drug bust that took place in corrupt streets of downtown Somewhere. Quickly, he gets back at his nemesis while still in the hospital and a whole new story unveils. After rehab and a fierce montage of training and martial arts, Seagal begins his comeback as a bodyguard to a rich man's daughter. Unfortunately the montage of hard, grueling, intense training didnt quite pay off and the daughter was kidnapped anyway. Which leads Seagal down a path of dirty dealings, corrupt business men and merciless killers who will stop at nothing to get money and trouble off their backs.

This is a classic Seagal film. I actually like his stuff because the fight scenes are often more intense than other films. Broken bones and bullets that send enemies flailing across the room. Its a movie that is 100% action and when their is action, its all about the anticipation for the upcoming action sequence. It took me a while, to be honest to warm up to Seagal, but when I started to take him for what he was, an actor who knows akido who likes to put himself in films with younger starlets so he most likely can hit on them when they arent shooting film, I started to not mind the guy so much. He is tough in his movies. I definitely think he could take on most of the modern actions stars of today. One of the few 80's action stars still kicking butt. Good Job Steven!

My Elementary Grading Scale: Exceeding Expectations

1-10: 8.5

Law Abiding Citizen

Gerard Butler and Jamie Fox star in this police murder mystery thriller which has Jamie Fox scrambling to prove Butler is a murder by finding some solid evidence and closing all the legal loopholes. Butler plays one of the smartest men who ever lived when it comes to killing and after the death of his family he goes on a killing spree in revenge by killing all the men and women who were involved with the case where the men were set free after killing his wife and daughter.

The whole movie goes to show just how messed up our legal system. Ideas like one murder gets off because he tells on the other murder and how just by not saying "I did it" a man can hint at it and discuss the murders they were going to commit but could not be touched because of rulings in court that prevented it.... It was really interesting, though I am not a lawyer, I do believe that it was realistic in the court scenes as old cases were used as foundations on newer cases and was, in the end, the way Gerard Butler was able to continue getting back at the system that failed him. Not saying that the court systems are corrupt, but they would definitely be knocked over and ridiculed if they were on the playground.

My Elementary Grading Scale: Progressing Satisfactorily

1-10: 7.5/8

Whatever Works

I am a HUGE fan of Larry David. Pretty much all of his jokes and shows and lines are funny in my book. He has a way, just like he did for Seinfeld, of taking the normal and mundane and turning it into a hilarious situation and or dilemma. I'm sure most Seinfeld fans know of his new show Curb Your Enthusiasm. Whatever Works is more along the lines of his show Curb. A troubled older man filled with hatred for todays society, finds love after divorce with a young, southern, lower class, dumb, impressionable blonde and soon he finds himself turning her into him basically and they get married. Soon she realized that there is more for her than this old disdainful man and a weird triangle of love ensues between him, her, her mom, the new younger man, a few of his friends.... i guess its not so much of a triangle and its not your typical love story either. But its good. A good twist on a human drama film which I can definitely compare to a Woody Allen film. I suggest this to all Seinfeld/Curb fans....

My Elementary Grading Scale: Exceeding Expectations

1-10: 8.5

Damage

As a WWE Superstar, Steve Austin made the natural progression into acting with a few low budget films that I am almost sure always go straight to DVD, as well they should. No offense to Stone Cold, but he is better fit standing on the ropes smashing beer cans open and pouring them over his face as he flips the bird to the crowd and reads off scripts showing how much of a B.A. he is as he fake wrestles other juiced up body-building D-bags. Unfortunately, he injured his back in the ring, which I guess WAS a legit injury not just for show, and he had to go to the next best unreal thing....acting. That being said, I still enjoyed the movie, for what it was worth: An action packed fight movie where the underdog ends up achieving glory. Any athlete can appreciate that. Damage tells the tale of an ex-con who tries to repay the family of man he killed in self defense by fighting to earn money so that the wifes child can get the surgery she needs..... Dont go into this movie expecting Oscar-worthy performances and you will enjoy this movie on a Saturday afternoon.

My Elementary Grading Scale: Progressing Satisfactorily

1-10: 7

The Proposal

Ryan Reynolds and Sandra Bullock join hands in this romantic comedy about a boss and her secretary falling in love. Bullock is forced to leave the country because of a mix up with her visa and she decides, much to the dismay of Reynolds character, that they were going to be married in order to save her status with the U.S. Customs. Reynolds, before finding out of his engagement, absolutely despises Bullock because of her less than cooperative attitude and once the opportunity arises, Reynolds finds a way to make himself happy, his boss happy, and in the end he falls in love, of course, and they live happily ever after. A few entertaining scenes but there are definitely too many of this type of movie out already.... Come on writers!!!!!!!!!! Do something original! The only new thing in the romantic comedy world these days are just the combinations of actors put together.

My Elementary Grading Scale: Progressing Satisfactorily

1-10: 6.5

Zombieland

A rag-tag team of survivors after zombies took over the U.S. desperately search for a safe haven while they all compete for being the top dog. Some live by a code and others do what has to be done to keep themselves alive. Fortunately, the team understands in a weird way, that they all need eachother to get by not only for their physical well being but to ease their stressed out lives as well.

What a great take on a zombie apocolypse. Zombie movies are by far my favorite genre so I was excited when I heard about this version of zombie movie. The standouts in my opinion were Woody Harrelson and Abigail Breslin. Their roles made the movie what it was....entertaining. A funny yet dramatic film dealing with relationships during a ghoul invasion sounds like something that has been made 1000 times...which it has. However, this film definitely made its own mark, with its unique humorous take on life on the run. Not really spoiling but I personally enjoyed Bill Murray's cameo about midway through. Please enjoy this movie like I did. Not scary enough for you to keep your light on at night but it was definitely intense enough to keep you on the edge of your seat.

My Elementary Grading Scale: Exceeding Expectations

1-10: 9

Angels and Demons

Tom Hanks fixed his hair a bit for this sequel so, for that reason alone, I find myself following the story a little better. The sequel to Davinci Code was MUCH more entertaining and kept my attentions with the action sequences that took up more of the movie than the previous. After discovering that the Illuminati were on a quest to wipe out the pope and all the possible popes at one time, Hanks along with his new, unrealistically pretty physicist (no offense to physicists, but I have never had a good looking woman as a science professor or science teacher) go and try to stop the murderous individual trying to change history and also steal ant-matter to change the world. It sounds Sci-Fi but I think that anyone enthralled with good drama, murder-mystery, the secrets of the Vatican (even if they are unreal) will find this movie very entertaining.

I liked the message at the end which basically said that even though you may not believe you are part of a calling, you may have a higher purpose in the big picture. Hanks character didnt believe that God could have sent him to save the church because he didnt believe in God. However, the man he saved in the middle of his investigation from the killer, ended up being the next pope (spoiler, sorry, had to prove my point).

My Elementary Grading Scale: Exceeding Expectations

1-10: 8.5

Sorority Row

I can now find another reason why sororities were not my "cup-o-tea". The script, minus the murderous "ghost", had the group of sisters acting much like the sisters I met and avoided in college. After an accidental death the girls try to cover up a murder that they all took part in. Unfortunately, they should have skipped town, because as time passes, more people find out and that is when people start dying.... Scream 1,2, or 3 anyone????

Audrina Patridge from the hit "reality/unreality" tv show, The Hills, plays in her first major role in a big-budget film. Her 20 minutes on the screen, however, did not make too much of an impact or show any talent and the movie itself was just another "horror-who-dun-it-ghost of girl who died". The only way you can actually enjoy this movie is if you were watching this movie would be to watch SO many good movies before it that you feel that you need to pay some kind of respect to the bad movies that were made.

My Elementary Grading Scale: Needs Improvement

1-10: 5.5

Year One

Jack Black and Michael Cera play a duo of Cro-Magnons who are somewhat of an outcast team who are evicted from their tribe and forced to travel through lands that remind me so much of Mel Brooks' History of the World. From a warped Cane and Abel, to a idiotic Roman army, the story has its own twist but like I said, its not original.

I am a little behind on this one but I just now am getting back into movie-watching. I must say, it wasn't the worst movie to start off with. For all Jack Black fans, this is your movie. I have, however, met an equal group of people who really dislike the guy. Fortunately, I am a fan so I was able to sit through the movie and enjoy his humor. Michael Cera, plays his one and only character that he plays in every movie, the awkward/quiet/self-deprecating kid but makes a good straight-man for Black.

My Elementary Grading Scale: Progressing Satisfactorily

1-10: 7.5

I Am Back

After months of waiting, I have decided to return to my movie postings. Mostly because of the newly available free time that living and playing basketball in Germany affords me. I have watched 20 movies in the last 16 days and I will begin reviewing them here shortly. I just wanted to get a post up for all to see that they can now breath, relax, and enjoy the chance to hear about the movies before you go see them, or just to get another persons perspective on a movie they like or dislike. PLEASE, if you have anything to comment about or add to the review, do so frequently and as much as you like. Thanks to all who follow. See ya soon! ~Matthew

Brief Intermission

After returning home from Germany, I have taken a brief timeout from movie watching and reviews while I catch back up to the "REAL WORLD" and getting used to a normal schedule of the day-to-day...... Thanks for your patience and I will be back on the movie grind shortly.

A Haunting in Connecticut

The perfect storm of scariness. Something about people being possessed has always scared me more than any other route that writers take to scare their viewers. Plus, since it was BASED on a true story, it gives it that extra "something" that makes this movie a true terror.
After the oldest son of a family is diagnosed with cancer, the family makes a last minute, immediate decision to relocate to become closer to their hospital...in Connecticut (hence, the name). While on medical trials, his visions of horrible happenings in his house are dismissed for side-effects of his trial drugs. Unfortunately, the drugs were not the culprit of his horrid, eerie visions of the house, that once was used as a mortuary, and all that lived inside. A barrage of some of the scariest imagery follows throughout the movie to totally make you keep the lights on all night after the movie.
I guess demons are pretty smart, they are always sure to pick the one person to possess that will ensure that they can continue doing their dastardly deeds while the others blame a plausible reason for the "sickness". I definitely think that if you are faint of heart, you should skip this movie, but to all others, this movie is definitely going to be a classic in the years to come.

My elementary grading scale: Exceeding Expectations
1-10: 8

X-Men Origins: Wolverine

I was glad someone came up with the idea to make movies about the backgrounds of the X-Men. Especially when they decided to start off with Wolverine (My favorite superhero when I was little). It was really nice to piece together all of the little snippets of background info about him that I had been trying to put in order from the comics and cartoons throughout the years and to finally see it in its entirety. The story tells of a man, played by Hugh Jackman, named Jimmy. He suffered many losses, was born with a mutant power and was all the while, able to maintain a sense of decency. After being duped, the government was able to make him more powerful with Adamantium, but failed to keep a leash on this new, stronger Wolverine. Most of his actions were based out of lost love which ended up making him more powerful. Sidenote: you get to see the makings of some other cool mutant characters as well as the story unfolds but I am not going to spoil it....
The version I saw was an uncompleted make of the film. The wires were still hanging off the guys as they jumped and flew through the air. Some of the scenes were only animated because the effects hadn't been finished yet and some of the shots were not colored right, BUT, I can tell that this is gonna be an amazing movie when its finished and comes out May 1.

My elementary grading scale: Exceeding Expectations (for guys, girls you may not be as happy)
1-10: 8.5/9

I Love You, Man

The unfortunate lifestyle of a guy who unknowingly let his relationships get in the way of his friendships all caught on film. After catching his fiance's friends talking about his "loser ways", Paul Rudd decides that he would seek out a friend, at least so he would have someone to fill the best man position at his wedding. After a few hilariously failed attempts, he finds Sidney. The two really hit it off and soon, to Rudds fiance's dismay, the relationship that once was has shifted more favorably to his new best friend. Will the marriage still take place??? Will he lose his best friend? Will he lose his best friend and his marriage? Well, you will just have to watch....
An all-star cast of hilarious actors fill the screen with non stop comedy of all sorts. From sarcasm, to shocking acts of vulgarity, to clever outlooks on modern life, this film has it all... and by all I mean sometimes the jokes miss the target. This movie would be shooting about 85% from the free throw line if it were an NBA player, which would put it/him at the top of his field. Not perfect, but pretty dang good. Not a comedy to take kids to, for the sake of protecting our youths ears, because I believe the children are our future....teach them well and let THEM lead the way..... but I give this the go ahead and watch to all you readers out there.

My elementary grading scale: Exceeding Expectations
1-10: 7.5/8

Tapioca

Sorry everybody, this film is NOT a winner. I have nothing wrong with low-budget, B-movies with unheard of actors. Sometimes they end up being pretty good. Tapioca, however, was a dud. Like most B movies, the acting is overdone and the script feels almost re-read instead of acted out. An egotistical, loud-mouthed, ex-car salesman continues looking down on everyone and expecting everyone to help him while he continues to be a mean, horrible person, so St. Peter intervenes to teach him a lesson in humility by turning him into a homeless person thanks to Nuts ( a very special homeless man).

A very choppy screenplay. Hopping from one random scene to the next makes it hard to follow. Ben Vereen is in this film as the homeless man that has the power to send people to alternate realities but he doesnt do a great job himself. I was banking on this movie being okay because of him, but he failed. I dont have too much to say about this film because there wasnt enough to really talk about.

My elementary grading scale: Needs Improvement
1-10: 4.5

Monsters vs. Aliens

It's amazing to me how far cartoons have come since the days when I was running around in backyard pretending to be a Thundercat. Monsters vs. Aliens is the new Dreamworks film that tells the story of the fight for Earth's existence between Galaxhar and his evil minions and the Monsters here on Earth struggling with their own self worth. When Susan gets blasted with an unidentified element from space, she becomes Ginormica the 80 foot tall woman and is forced into seclusion witht he rest of the worlds monsters. When the aliens plan their take over, the government is forced to unleash their secret weapons: the monsters.
Like many of the modern CGI movies out now, Aliens vs. Monsters is fun for both children and adults. Many of the jokes that slip by the youngsters will definitely be laughed at by those of us paying attention. Great lessons about acceptance, self-worth, standing up for what is right, and not letting yourself settle for 2nd best are all a part of this new flick. A good reminder to anyone who is feelin down about their situation, this movie is a great pick-me-up.

My elementary grading scale: Exceeding Expectations
1-10: 8

The Gray Man

A true life Hannibal Lecter. The true story of serial killer, Albert Fish. During the 1930's Fish set out on a killing spree preying on children and luring the families into allowing him to take them for "short trips" with his money. Detectives were clueless for awhile as they searched the varying descriptions and went on very little hard evidence at the time. Slowly one detective was able to trace his handwriting and other crime scene evidence and find the killer. Albert Fish was a horrible man with many personal demons of his own that led him down the horrible path he was on.
Surprisingly good movie that was well thought out. The most interesting part was how advanced our crime fighting skills have come in the last 70+ years. I guess you could consider this movie as CSI: Old School.... Serial killer movies are always intriguing to me only for the fact that I can never understand what makes them go to the lengths they do, take the horrible actions they do, and then act as if they were living an ordinary life.

My elementary grading scale: Exceeding Expectations
1-10: 8

12 Rounds

This was John Cena's (WWE) first shot at the big time. Playing the role of a police officer, he did a good job, however the movie itself did not. After catching a notorious criminal and accidentally killing the criminals girlfriend in the arrest, Cena is surprised to find out that this criminal has escaped from prison, captured HIS girlfriend, and is now toying with Cena by making him complete 12 missions (or rounds) to get his girlfriend back. The tasks were relatively simple but cause collateral damage throughout the city and send Cena racing all over town in the hopes of rescuing his beautiful girlfriend.
Reminded me of the movie Seven. Similar idea but a new twist. Cena was a great action hero just as the others before him.... few words, muscles, likes to fight.... the usual. He's no Dwayne Johson, who became a great action star after wrestling in the WWE as well, but he will do. I wouldnt suggest going to see this at the theaters. Renting would be just fine when it comes out in a few months to DVD.

My elementary grading scale:Progressing Satisfactorily
1-10: 6.5

The Echelon Conspiracy

Great Actors (Ed Burns, Ving Rhames, Charlie Sheen, Shane West). Great Locations (Bangkok, Prague, Moscow). Bad timing. Only months after Eagle Eye, Echelon Conspiracy was released with a near identical storyline. After receiving a new high tech cell phone as a gift, West finds himself receiving tips on making vast sums of money. Little did he know it was happening by a government super computer trying to gain his trust to get him to do even greater deeds for the Echelon computer. What follows is a search for the people behind the program and a realization of just how big of a situation they are dealing with.
Like I said, bad timing. As Yogi Berra said, "It was like Deja Vu, all over again." A few differences that make the story still entertaining but not enough to really set it apart. The music felt to me like it didnt fit the story... too techno and hard-hitting than the actual movie. The "super" computer itself was kind of funny because, for a modern movie, it looked like the program was running off the Apple IIe... One other thing, it's ridiculous to me when a supermodel(ish) spygirl is able to fight a male trained CIA agent. The girl had to weigh 100 pounds to his 200. I KNOW I could take anything from a flying punch to a Chuck Norris Special from someone like that. Maybe its empowering to women in the secret ops world, but its just not believable.

My elementary grading scale: Progressing Satisfactorily
1-10: 6

Vinyan

Rufus Sewell (from the 11th Hour series) and Emanuelle Beart (French actress who botoxed the crap out of her self for the film) star in amovie that quite frankly, perplexed me. A husband and wife go on a search for their lost, possibly dead, son after they lost him to a tsunami 6 months prior. They catch a glimpse of what the wife thinks is the son in a film about Burmese orphans at a fundraiser and from that point on, havoc ensues. After giving countless amounts of money to numerous people who are "willing to help", they find themselves alone in the jungle where thousands of orphaned children are living due to the wreckage and losses of lives from the horrible tsunami not that long before. The ending left me speechless as I know it will for you once you witness it for yourself.
I liked it, but I didn't like it. I want you to watch it, but I don't want you to watch it. I hate to say it, but the boy they were searching for was probably better off a homeless orphan living in the jungle by himself rather than coming home to those two freak shows. The mom and dad were NUTS each in there own special way. The mom really took the cake because I didn't know if she was a pedophile, just plain crazy, or if she was just French. The dad was just plain crazy for following her around. I do realize desperate times will make someone do crazy things that you wouldn't normally do, but if they were sane before they lost their child, you wouldn't know it from this film. Maybe you should see it just to know what I am talking about.
By the way, Vinyan, in whatever the local dialect was in the film, meant a lost soul that cant find its way to heaven and becomes angry..... KINDA pertinent to the film but not really.

My elementary grading scale: Needs Improvement (But you will be entertained)
1-10: 5

Solo

This film was a documentary that recounts the tale of Andrew McAuley, an Australian adventurer who, in 2006, launched a quest to become the first person to paddle a kayak across the treacherous Tasman Sea. The Tasman Sea, I might add, is one of the most dangerous seas on the earth. 1600 miles of nothing but 12 meter waves, cold water, sharks, pitch black nights and square mile after square mile of nothingness. McAuley sets out to set himself apart as the first kayaker of his kind. An amazing story of will, determination and facing fear. I highly, HIGHLY, recommend this documentary film.
This was as emotionally stirring as it was intense as the film recounts a man left out to sea and realizing just what he had gotten himself into and the incredible battle he faced. I really think that I will be watching this again tomorrow. McAuley followed in the footsteps of past explorers who looked the unknown head on, and though fear was present, determination and fortitude took over.
The film brought lots of feelings dealing with self-worth and ''really'' living. Some say its not until we face our fears and overcome them that we can really know ourselves. Many see what seems impossible and let others attempt it, while a small few go and do it. Am I allowing fear to overcome my aspirations? When all is said and done, can I look back and say to myself I lived my life without regret or skipping out on things I should have done? It took a film about a man challenging the near impossible to bring these thoughts out of me. Some of you may already have faced these decisions and ideas. Seriously. Watch the film. It will challenge your mind and dare your spirit.

My elementary grading scale: Exceeding Expectations
1-10: 10

The Butterfly Effect 3: Revelation

Yes there already was a part 2. Luckily, I have been fortunate enough to have been a witness to all 3.... In part three, the non-ashton kucher main character, goes back to try to save his girlfriend from a murder and just like all other trips back in time, he alters history and forever changes the present day....mostly for bad. After tracking down his girlfriends killer, he comes closer and closer to being convicted himself as he learns more and more about the shocking revelation of who the serial killer really is.
Part 3 is actually better than part 2 and almost as good as part one. Its such a cool concept, just like the previous parts that its still entertaining to watch a man go back in time and struggle to maintain the shape of the present. I was honestly surprised at the ending so I guess that means they did a good job writing the story without too many obvious clues.

My elementary grading scale: Progressing Satisfactorily
1-10: 6.5/7

Direct Contact

Dolph Lundgren is 50 years old and still making action movies, following in the footsteps of his old rival Sylvester Stallone. Direct Contact stars Dolph Lundgren (aka: Ivan Drago) as an ex-special forces imprisoned in Bulgaria for weapons smuggling. He has the chance to leave when he is asked to find a young American girl and bring her back to the States. After finding out that there is MUCH more involved in just a simple rescue, he ends up helping save the girls life and falling in love at the same time.... Total action movie and lots of explosions, shootings, car chases, blood, and broken bones.
One thing that was stupid was the fact that Dolph (playing as an American) rescued this 20 year old girl and she fell in love with him....he's 50.That kind of stuff usually only works in Europe. Maybe it was to give the old creepy, single 50+ year old guys that I see at my gym some hope that with all their prowling, they TOO can find a young girl that would be attracted to them. I guess this could be the case if they are marketing this filme to the people that are Dolph Lundgren's age and desperately went out searching for this DVD when they heard he had made a new film...... or maybe not. Hopefully, with this film being entirely shot in the ''beautiful" country of Bulgaria, it will give their horrid economy some kind of tourist boost. Overall though, this movie is a fast paced film with non-stop action. Don't go watch it for the romance, comedy or potential movie quotes.... In this entire film Dolph Lundgren never says one line that can compare to, '' I will crush you!'' or "If he dies, he dies.''

My elementary grading scale: Progressing Satisfactorily
1-10: 7.5

Knowing

Nicholas Cage's best film since National Treasure. A story of a MIT astrophysicist decyphering a coded letter that was in a time capsule for 50 years. The letter told of the events that were going to happen by the day and the amount of dead people. Cage's son along with the daughter of the original code writer are relentlessly spoken to give them incite into what is really happening. After Cage realizes he can not change the course of these cataclysmic events, he does his best to protect his son, all while preparing for the last final event that will change the world forever.
This movie was really great. Not only for the action, but for the premise. The controversy of free will and predestination is dealt with throughout the movie. In my opinion, I think that it's a little of both (predestined with a free will). On a side note, I was also glad to see that they killed off a certain someone who was annoying me in the movie. The typical character that just messes up everyone's plans, continually cries and whimpers and wont believe what is going on after endless amounts of evidence....hopefully you will be as pleased by this as I was.

My elementary grading scale: Exceeding Expectations
1-10: 8.5

The Last House On the Left

I tried to watch this film so I could report to you whether it was good or bad. What ended up happening is that I had to turn it off about 35 or 40 minutes into the film. I can stomach a lot of things in movies. I often think about the actors acting out the parts and the lines they are reading and the other technical aspects that go into film-making but The Last House On the Left crossed a few boundaries where it was a little too much for me to watch. This is definitely the most graphically violent films I have seen (half seen). What it came down to was the daughter being attacked by a family of murderers..... that is all I will say about that. If the imagery portrayed in this film does not affect you or make you uncomfortable...may God have mercy on your soul..... That's pretty much all I have to say about that.... If anyone has seen the whole film and would like to add comments... feel free. I guess I kinda wanna know what the last 2/3 of the film are all about.

My elementary grading scale: Incomplete
1-10: Incomplete

The Broken

A woman sees her doppelganger (alternate person) before she gets into a bad car crash. No one believes her when she heals up because they blame her ideas on the accident. Soon, other situations involving body doubles come into existence and a series of murders, missing persons, and near-death escapes leads the crash victim to a horrible realization.
This was similar to the body snatcher films of the past but had a little variation. A very little. Many ideas were taken from the older versions of this topic and although I was interested and intrigued from this movie, I HAD seen it a few times before.

My elementary grading scale: Progressing Satisfactorily
1-10: 6

The Tribe: Uncut

Its just your typical story of 5 privelaged twenty-somethings shipwrecked on an island in the Caribbean. Unfortunately the island is inhabited by a gorilla-like species that are cannibalistic killers. Like a hot knife through butter they go through this young crew of sea-farers until only one survives. For some reason, they basically play around with her until she has the opportunity to escape... it had a little bit to do with the goo she found oozing from a plant that the gorilla men found for her that masks her scent. The one girl that survives ended up being the one survivor I wanted to die. The one that made the bad decisions, screamed when she needed to be quiet.... you get the idea.
Very strange movie in that it didnt make sense. A well placed machete from 1922 was left in a bamboo tree for her to use in the end..... and luckily the bamboo with the machete didnt grow AT ALL in 87 years..... and the blade was in mint condition...Lots of stuff like that...I dont really wanna remember.

My elementary grading scale: Needs Improvement
1-10: 4

From Within

After a series of mysterious "suicides", it becomes evident that a curse has been set onto the towns people in response to a murder of a woman believed to be a witch. As the girlfriend of the local pastors son, gets more involved with the witches son, cliques are formed and the church becomes the cleansing agent for the town. The end of the movie is a good ''shocker''.
Religion can be used for good. It can be used for bad. It can be selfless, and it can be used for personal gain. In this movie, the religious people of the town represent what happens when religion gets in the way of what is right, gets distorted and twisted, and is used for power and personal needs. The church was used to hide some dark secrets of the town and ended up causing the people to forget about doing whats right and to just do what would save themselves.
This movie was really entertaining and was actually pretty scary. Good use of the great horror movie scare tactics. Things appearing out of nowhere, freaky noises, ridiculous reasons to go off by yourself and not seek help.......

My elementary grading scale: Progressing Satisfactorily
1-10: 7

Rappas

Please tell me that this whole movie was ad lib and there were no scripts..... because if someone actually wrote down what was being said, and actually told them to do what they were doing, that director/writer/producer should find a new job. Two rappers get hustled into a bad deal with a record label and everything else that has happened in about a dozen other movies happens at the same time. I am positive that every scene in this movie has been done in other movies, but done better. It seriously is just watching guys talk to eachother using old jokes and references to womens bodies in various ways, and all the while hoping to make $100,000 dollars to get out of their old contract with their pimpin' producer.

My elementary grading scale: Needs Improvement
1-10: 2.5/3

The Watchmen: The Black Freighter

I urge everyone who reads this and enjoys great superhero stories to go purchase The Watchmen comic book series. What an amazing take on the super hero. This was a short film made by DC comics that told the story of The Sea Captain. A man driven insane by a ship of murderers. His struggle to return home from being shipwreck only leads into a deeper insanity and intense need to reach his family before the Black Freighter, which killed his crew, does the same to his wife and children.
Gerard Butler (300) demands your attention as narrator and lead role as the Sea Captain. I was captivated, though it was only a 30 minute cartoon-movie. Check it out. It went straight to DVD and I promise you that you will like it.... If only The Watchmen at the movie theaters was as good as this one.....

My elementary grading scale: Exceeding Expectations
1-10: 8.5/9

Race To Witch Mountain

My Kids would really love this movie....if I had them. Dwayne Johnson aka: The Rock, stars as a ex-con, loveable, helpful, yet nosy Vegas cab driver....you know the type. They're all over Sin City. After a UFO crash landing 2 alien children seek out the cabbie's help to seek out some alien info, avoid an alien sniper, and get back to their spaceship. Just the person that you would assume they would look for to help them, an ex convict who drives a cab in Vegas.......
There was an original called Escape to Witch Mountain filmed in 1975 and then a remake done in 1995.... so why not do it again.... I had no idea this story was so popular. In my opinion, Disney made this movie a little tooooo Disney. It was hard paying attention the whole time. I am a Rock fan, but he was a little bit to fatherly, and nice. As an action and adventure actor they did put him through the rigors of robot fist fights and some brawls with unsuspecting government agents, but it wasnt rich enough for my blood.

My elementary grading scale: Progressing Satisfactorily
1-10: 7

Kicking the Dog

In a nutshell, here is the movie.... boring, boring, boring, cliche, cliche, old joke, unoriginal situation, boring, boring, bad joke, cliche, cliche..... Sorry to spoil the movie for you. Now you know everything that happened. But really, its about a group of college kids hanging out talking about their boring escapades and drinking. Maybe some can relate, but if you can, I am sorry you have wasted your lives.
The attempt, I'm sure, was to create a dialogue similar to college kids that they could relate to, but what I fear happened was that it became an attempt at how much perverse stories can we fit into 90 minutes. If you want to hear it, just go to a frat party, I watch movies to be entertained. Not my cup of tea. I wish I could get those 90 minutes back.

My elementary grading scale: Needs Improvement
1-10: 2.5

Big Game

Basically, if you are going to accidentally shoot a murderers girlfriend, expect there to be some sort of recompense for it. In this case, an alcoholic ex cop's daughter is kidnapped by Howell along with 4 other high school classmates. Through a series of almost miraculous coincidences and opportunities, the high school crew, for the most part, are able to evade Howell and his two henchman.
At 45 minutes and 11 seconds, this movie got good. At 90 minutes and 5 seconds, this movie got bad again. I feel like I should be giving this movie two different grades for two different sections of the movie, but I guess I will just average both out.... I just wanted to fill you in for fast-forwarding purposes. I seriously liked this movie for the 45 minutes in the middle that were good. It was gripping, fast paced, and eventful. The lead into that timezone was cheesy, contrived, and unoriginal. On a sidenote, I hate how jocks are almost always portrayed as selfish, womanizing, arrogant, frat-like, jerks... fortunately the jock in this film (SPOILER ALERT!!!) gets killed.

My elementary grading scale: Needs Improvement
1-10: 5

Meteor: Path To Destruction

This may have been THE curtain call for all the actors who had been lost over the years. Stars who played in movies and shows ranging from Back to the Future, Seinfeld, and to Home Improvement.
Originally thinking this was going to be a real movie before I pressed play, I was a little let down to see that it was a two part mini-series drama that aired somewhere at sometime on TV....somehow. I'm not dissing the TV mini-series genre itself, just this one. A collision of meteors changes the course of a large asteroid the size of a planet along with a rain of smaller, but deadly, meteors as precursors. A series of natural disasters, murders, hold-ups and misfortunes make figuring out the right way to handle the event almost seem impossible.... I am not going to give any spoilers out ....but this movie is as predictable as weighted dice.
The only redeeming quality of the drama is that it has stars that we all loved as kids growing up. Fortunately no one had to pay entry fees or the ridiculously high rental prices to catch this one. You MAY just want to watch it to see what George Costanza (Seinfeld), Dr. Emmett Brown (Back to the Future I II and III), and Bradley Michael Taylor (Tool Time) look like today.....

My elementary grading scale: Needs Improvement
1-10: 5

Winged Creatures

Guy Pearce. Check. Forest Whitaker. Check. Kate Beckinsdale. Check. Dakota Fanning. ehhh.
Winged Creatures was an ensemble film (similar to Crash in how multiple stories about one event lead to one final conclusion or lesson). The all-star cast, overall, delivered an all-star performance telling the story of a horrible mass-murder in a diner which 5 perspectives were observed. All had their own variation of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and by the end of the movie, their stories intertwined with eachother in ways that do not truly become clear until the final moments.
I liked this movie and I suggest everyone see it when it comes out... My only unhappiness from the movie was Fannings role. A bit robotic and not as compelling as she once was as a child, she did end up redeeming herself by the end of the movie.

My elementary grading scale: Exceeding Expectations
1-10: 7.5/8

Fired Up

I almost didn't watch this movie, but then I remembered that what I am doing, writing this movie review blog, is much bigger than me. This is for the people. haha. I sat down and forced myself to watch a cheerleader movie. It ended up being very similar to Wedding Crashers, but at a cheerleading camp. After two jocks ditch football camp to join a cheerleading camp all in hopes to improve their chances with the ladies, one finds love, and the other a change of heart from being a womanizer. Wedding Crashers. They get kicked out and then taken back all because of the love they have for cheerleading and one's new flame. Wedding Crashers.
The movie is like any typical teen PG-13 movie and I would consider this to be a very audience-specific film.... the cheerleading community, much like the Bring It On series. So, to all my cheerleader friends, enjoy. To all my other non-cheering followers...you MIGHT enjoy...but definitely not as much.

My elementary grading scale: Progressing Satisfactorily
1-10: 6/6.5

The Lodger

Fortunately, I was lucky enough to watch two back-to-back great movies. The Lodger is a new version of an Alfred Hitchcock movie. To be more specific, it was created by using the same book, that Hitchcock read to create his version of the Lodger. With that in mind, the modern version had every bit of suspense and mystery all trapped inside a great story. After the wrong man was convicted of murder, a new Jack the Ripper copycat emerges from being hidden for 7 years. By the end of the movie, everyone is in question and I found myself shocked to find the real killer was who it was.
3 murder suspects, all legit, which is usually not the case and most get ruled out in many murder stories. The Lodger does a great job of creating plausible reasons for all the "murderers" to attack the poor innocent "ladies of the night"(hoes). I highly recommend this movie, not only for the movie itself, but to all those who have enjoyed Hitchcock's work, its a great new look at a classic.

My elementary grading scale: Exceeding Expectations
1-10: 8.5

Good Arrows

MY FAVORITE MOVIE THIS YEAR!!!!! Good Arrows is an awesome movie. A documentary like film going deep into the world of the professional dart player. Here we follow a pro darter on his way out of fame. Along with his wife/manager we learn the ins and outs of what to look out for and expect in this unknown lifestyle.
What an amazing movie and format. These no name actors and actresses did a wonderful job playing the part and made the normally mundane sport of darts, an exciting and hilarious adventure. The movie was made by an independent director and I know that as soon as this film gets around he will have a lot more opportunity to create more, hopefully equally excellent films. Please go find this film and watch it... you will NOT be disappointed. Just wait til the "jankem" scene.... priceless and original.

My elementary grading scale: Exceeding Expectations
1-10: 9.5/10

American High School

If you are looking to piss yourself off and be frustrated for 85 minutes, get a look at how high school is NOT, watch actors ruin their careers, and see how shock value is used in replace of comedy, then you NEED to watch this movie immediately. If this does not interest you, then you may find something, anything, better for 85 minutes. The writer and/or director had to have qualified in every category of duschebaggery. I dont even want to bother getting into the plot, except that its about kids going to high school and making a big deal out of Prom. Fortunately, we now know where the lead singer from Danity Kane, Aubrey O'Day, finally fell off at. You Go Girl!!!! Psyche.
This is the type of movie that out of the people you know, "THAT GUY", would enjoy watching it. The type of guy that grows up, gets married and hits on his daughters high school friends..... that is the best way to put it.

My elementary grading scale: Needs Improvement
1-10: 1/1.5

Virus Undead

When I read that this new zombie movie was created by and starring Germans, I automatically became a little weary of the film I was about to watch. Half expecting this movie to be filmed with a hand-held video cassette recorder and actors pulled out of the local discotheque, I sat down and allowed myself to put my bias aside and try to watch without discrimination.
3 friends end up in one of their grandfathers lab/house and unfortunately, this was the same house that the bird-flu(ish) zombie outbreak began. Spread by dead animals, and then to humans, the virus created a type of zombie I had not seen in the modern zombie movie realm. All of the classic scenarios of zombie warfare are present (Quarantines, head-shots, flesh-eating).
In the end, zombies lose for the time being (just like all Zombie stories). I was not bored from this movie. I AM a fan of this type of movie, so fighting through the horrible german-english accent and typical B-movie overacting was not TOO bad. The effects were good and if you are into the undead and a little bit of gore, then I suggest you go looking for this movie.

My elementary grading scale: Progressing Satisfactorily
1-10: 6.5/7

Hit and Run: Unrated

In an attempt to draw more viewers, I believe the producers of this film slapped "unrated" at the end of the title. However, there was nothing "unrated" about it. Before watching, I had a preconceived notion that this film was going to be a horror movie, due to the movie poster, but it was more of a murder suspense mystery than anything...until the end. After driving home from the bar, a hit and run accident leaves the main character in a situation. Out of sheer terror, she ends up "disposing" of the body and her mind begins to drive her insane. After getting her boyfriend involved, her plans and story begin to unravel.....

I thought this movie was very good. I liked how they shot the film in the classic horror movie direction (not being able to see around corners, flashing to scary scenes, and frantic camera movements) which always leads to an uneasy feeling. This movie definitely keeps you on edge as the plot unveils itself with all of the accidents and unintended events.

My elementary grading scale: Exceeding Expectations
1-10: 8

Without a Paddle: Natures Calling

This is a quasi-sequel to Without A Paddle which was a pretty funny movie but I do not think it was deserving of another round at the theaters. Almost the same scenario, but with a different reason to be there; 3 men are out in wilderness searching for a woman, all for their own reasons. Lots of adventure along the way keeps them on their toes and ready for everything as they whitewater raft there way to victory.
Very cheesy characters and old jokes run rampant in this movie and it really made me wonder why there was a writer somewhere thinking that a sequel to the original Without A Paddle needed to be written. I am not positive but I hope that this went straight to DVD so that some early teen/middle schoolers can enjoy this....cuz that is about the only type of humor that this reaches out to.... There are a lot better movies to watch.

My elementary grading scale: Needs Improvement
1-10: 4

Growing Out

A struggling musician finds a new place to live and is surprised to find not only his dream girl living in the trailer out back, but a human growing from the floor of his basement. Kind of a musical/horror/comedy film, this movie is destined for cult classic status.
The problem with B-movies is that whoever is acting usually takes (insert: emotion, personality, feeling, reaction) and overdoes it. This movie has its moments like this, but overall, is very entertaining. It hits you with multiple genres of movie and they actually do blend well together. There is a scene which involves one axe handler and one victim that may be conceived as overkill, but as for the movie, that was the only tough part to watch. A new, acoustic version of Little Shop of Horrors (ish).....

My elementary grading scale: Progressing Satisfactorily
1-10: 7/7.5

Far Cry

Congratulations gamers! Another video game has been turned into a movie, and i think they have planned for sequels. Til Schweiger (famous German Actor) stars as the movies main character and uses his quirky German accent and personality to somehow win the heart of a girl he should really have no chance with and fight his way through an island full of genetically enhanced soldiers.
I havent played the game, so this may be a close interpretation (hopefully not) or it may be just the writers concept of the game coming to the silver screen. I think this movie did better in Europe, most likely because it is on par with some b-movie classics such as Universal Soldier and other Van Damme action films. Not great acting, some good fight scenes, couple good effects, and if you are a fan of the video game you may like the movie more. In my opinion, leave this movie alone.

My elementary grading scale: Needs Improvement
1-10: 5

Confessions of a Shopoholic

"You Speak Prada?" Sorry everyone. I just gave away the funniest line of the movie. And, Yes, I did watch this movie. I told you I had lots of time.
Isla Fisher stars as a young business professional struggling with a shopping addiction. Her recent hire as a writer for a financial magazine provides her with the advantage of using her shopping sense in the financial market....all the while, avoiding the debt collector who's trying to track her down. Comedy, Romance, Broken Hearts, and Fiscal Business Responsibility are all a part of this movie which left me hoping that there aren't real people in this world who live the way of the shopoholic does.
Some parts are humorous but nothing to write back home about. Not that I write back home about funny parts of movies, but you get the idea. Devil Wears Prada was a little better in my opinion as girl/business/comedy movies run. I know girls will like this one though....especially the ones who value the material more than necessary.

My elementary grading scale: Progressing Satisfactorily
1-10: 7/7.5

What Doesn't Kill You

What Doesn't Kill You is a crime movie starring both Ethan Hawke and Mark Ruffalo. The two grow up working for crime familes and soon venture out to start their own business of mafia-like origins. Ruffalo gets too caught up in the drugs and Hawke, more into the robbery and it leads them both down a dark and dangerous path. Fortunately Ruffalo is able to redeem himself and straighten out for his wife and kids. They were alway theorizing about robbing an armored car and all the crimes they were committing their whole lives culminates into one final decision to get their one BIG heist.
I've been a fan of Ethan Hawke since he first starred in The Explorers as a space travelling12 year old. Since then he has continuously made some great films. Training Day sealed the deal for me. Ruffalo does a great job too as a drug addict/theif. Together they have a great brotherly chemistry and their roles are very realistic. Any fan of crime films will enjoy this true story.

my elementary grading scale: Exceeding Expectations
1-10: 7.5/8

The Watchmen

If The Hills starred superheroes, you would have The Watchmen. A very "soap-opera-y" look into the lives of a group of crime fighters struggling with their pasts. After the death of a not-so-super superhero named, The Comedian, it forces the remaining crew to reflect on their lives, their relevance, relationships, and purpose. As the mystery of a possible Russian nuclear attack unfolds, we find there is more than meets the eye.
A very different look into the world of the superhero, The Watchmen gives a great new visionary perspective into that world. Great film sequences of fights and effects combined with a great soundtrack that spans all eras of music, left me pretty content about my experience watching this. Unfortunately its not great for the whole family. Kids probably shouldn't go and see this.

my elementary grading scale: exceeding expectations
1-10: 8.5/9

Punisher: War Zone

The Punisher the way that The Punisher was supposed to be. Tough, unconcerned about romance, and unwilling to spare bullets. All other versions were just a prologue to this. Frank Castle (Punishers real name) is a tortured soul after losing his family to criminals and now he is out for vengeance. War Zone is the tale of a man seeking justice and taking it into his own hands. A barrage of insane artillery and great fight scenes all because someone messed with the wrong man. His nemesis, Jigsaw (named after the Punisher threw him into a glass crusher), is adamant on killing him and in the end, is able to gather dozens of hoodlums who feel the same disdain for this crusader of justice.
This is an action movie. We dont go see them for their storylines or hopes of a defining moment, or moment of clarity. We see them for the action and The Punisher:War Zone does not let us down.

my elementary grading scale: Progressing Satisfactorily
1-10: 7.5

The Unborn

Dead baby + Demonic Possession + Exorcisms + Great Special Effects = SUPER SCARY MOVIE. The unborn twin comes back through visions, possessions and dreams in an attempt to be reborn onto the earth. The sister is experiencing the blunt end of the deal as she is tortured mentally and physically by this "unborn" twin. With the help of her family, rabbi, and local priest they decide that this "body-jumping" demon needs to be exorcised and the events before, during and after lead the viewer down a path of horror, fear, and above all, heart-thumping sequences that keep you on the edge of your seat (or like me, with my feet off the ground in fear of something under the bed grabbing them).
Anytime there is a movie with exorcisms and demons, I am especially scared. That is what gets me the best. I have talked to other friends and it is usually the same case for them. Its not about the monsters or the serial killers....its the whole demonic angle that raises the hair on our arms. The special effects of today make this movie 10x scarier. For such a cute little kid, they sure found a way to freak us out with him. Go see it if you dare.....

my elementary grading scale: Exceeding Expectations
1-10: 8

Green Street Hooligans 2: Stand Your Ground

Okay I am an American so I don't especially understand the intensity as to which Europeans, especially British, love the game of soccer...aka: football. Two rival fan clubs of two opposing football firms are both located in the same jail facility. Havoc ensues. Continual plotting, conspiring, and gang warfare are a daily occurence and soon groups of prisoners are transferred to other prisons only to find more opposition.
It was a great cast of British actors and cool fight scenes. If you are into action/fight movies this will not let you down. However I find movies like this hard to watch....
I don't and probably never will understand the mentality of a fan wiling to fight to the death for their team. First off, it is a sport, a game, played by grown men who are being paid to play a game..... a GAME!!!! Yet, fans are "loyal" enough to support these guys, who are playing a game. so much that they will fight other people who dont support their team. Ridiculous. I know this actually happens too, which is so sad to me. And I mean sad in the stupid, idiotic, unsensical way. Do people REALLY have NOTHING better to do with their lives than to live and die for a sports team that they dont even belong to???? They claim membership by going to a game and painting their faces, learning songs, and fighting the other teams fans...... What has this world come to?

my elementary grading scale: Progressing Satisfactorily
1-10: 6.5

Road of No Return

David Carradine (Kill Bill, Kung Fu) and Michael Madsen (Kill Bill, Reservoir Dogs) team up once again in this story of drugs, murder, kidnapping and betrayal. When Carradine and Madsen Hire four hit men to do their evil-doing, they encounter a number of unexpected obstacles which, in turn, leads the hit men down a whole new path of morality and questioning of their pasts. Sooner or later, it is revealed that Carradine and Madsen are not as they seem and upon discovery, causes the hit men to retaliate.
The Director/Writer of this movie obviously idolized Tarantino because the storyline and filming mimic Reservoir Dogs. I think it was definitely done this way on purpose because Madsen probably wouldnt have done the role if it wasn't....then again, he hasn't been cast in TOO many movies lately..... The two main characters (Carradine and Madsen) were definitely given the two best roles and the other actors were blatantly inexperienced. Madsen plays his classic character similar to that of Kill Bill and Reservoir Dogs and so does Carradine. The anecdotes and stories told by the two make the movie worthwhile.

my elementary grading scale: Progressing Satisfactorily
1-10: 7

Night Train

Danny Glover, Steve Zahn, and Lelee Sobieski star in a murder mystery thriller about 3 train passengers and their quest for greed. After a last second passenger is found dead on the train with a box of diamonds.... the adventure begins as they scheme, and hide, and plot their way through the police, passengers, and finally eachother to become rich. Lots of twists and turns lead to a climactic end in which you may never see coming.
I actually was anxious watching this movie. The mistakes they made and the decisions that were agreed upon were usually the types of decisions that would only be made in a movie and not in real life. Furthermore, do people actually travel on trains anymore? I honestly couldnt tell if this was a movie set in the 1800's or today until Danny Glover pulled out his celly. The actors are good but it doesnt help if they dont have a great story to act on. Definitely worth renting but fortunately you didnt have to waste your time going to the movies to see it. Lots of CGI train shots which I figured because I doubt any actor would really want to spend all that time on an actual train.

my elementary grading scale: Progressing Satisfactorily
1-10: 6/6.5

The Graduates

It is assumed that film makers borrow ideas from past films to develop their own stories. It is NOT assumed however, that they should copy ideas from the other movies. The Graduates was a conglomeration of the past 20 teen movies rolled into one. Very similar situations and characters took the funny, important, and poignant parts from past movies and created this "new" movie. Needless to say, it was unoriginal. A group of 18 years graduate from high school and seek out one "last hurrah" before going off to college and never seeing eachother again. Sound familiar? Well, it should.
This was a low budget film so I wont be as harsh on the acting or filming itself. But the idea in general has been overplayed. A couple funny lines and scenes, but the rest was just deja vu. I will tell you one thing though, the music was great. Place a piece of cardboard over your screen and enjoy the music.

my elementary grading scale: Needs Improvement
1-10: 4.5

Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun Li

Another movie to jump on the prequel bandwagon.... SF:TLOCL (Abbreviated for time) tells the story of Chun Li, the ninja-ing gal known for her upside down helicopter kicks in the Capcom Game. I, personally, never chose to fight with her when playing. I always went with Blanka or Dhalsim or Guile....The producers of this movie should have done the same. If you are going to create a movie, why not start with one of the more exciting characters (ie: Blanka- a green, electrifying creature from Brazil). SF:TLOCL tells the saddening story of a girl who was separated from her parents by a madman (M. Bison) and her passionate attempt to seek revenge on her families killers.
With only a few of the characters taking part in this movie, I can only assume they plan on making more. Hopefully not too many more. Pretty boring for a martial arts movie and, like I said, they could have had some more of the "cool" characters from one of the best fighting games of my middle school years.

my elementary grading scale: Needs Improvement
1-10: 5.5/6

Green Flash

Named after an almost "mythical" event which occurs at sunset, Green Flash is about a former basketball star searching for his own moment of brilliance. After a failed basketball career, Cameron Day finds himself searching for his path and winds up on the Pro Beach Volleyball Tour. Filled with backstabbing, partying, love, adrenaline, and twists; Green Flash is a sports movie lovers dream. Sports psychology at its finest, this movie lends itself to teaching that the most important part of the game is having the mental edge.
One of the few volleyball movies out there today, Green Flash may seem a little cheesy and cliche at times but overall has a great message and includes the ever popular and my personal favorite theme of redemption. If you like the beach, sports, beautiful women, or men for the female viewers, you will like this movie. Its of the "pick-me-up" inspirational variety. It made me wanna go practice my bump, set, and spike.....If you want to see another similar volleyball movie that came out in 1990 and definitely inspired this one... go check out Sideout.

my elementary grading scale: Exceeding Expectations
1-10: 7.5

Trapped in 5150

Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas meets Reservoir Dogs. This was a low budget film created in the heart of the Barrio and starred an all Latino cast. At first glance, you may think that this movie would be pretty bad due to the poor acting of most of the actors in this film. But, surprisingly, I found this movie to be pretty entertaining. After local gang warfare causes one gang to seek refuge in an abandoned building in the city, they find themselves in a whole new mess because the building is not so abandoned. A meth-head was using the building to cook up his meth and the gang soon finds that he is insane and looking to kill.
An interesting mix of the urban gang life and a thriller horror movie, I think that this movie is entertaining. Dont look for this movie to EVER win an award of any type or get any type of acclaim, but the story is compelling enough and the horror is horrifying enough to keep you in front of your screen.

my elementary grading scale: Progressing Satisfactorily
1-10: 6.5/7

The Lost

I havent seen Lacy Chabert since Party of Five but she is back to show that she is still alive, or sort of.... She plays a Sanitorium patient with Disassociative personality Disorder and plays the role of 5 missing girls ranging from a little kid to a french prostitute. Step in Armand Assante. As a Psychologist dealing with this EXACT disorder, he learns from Chabert's older sister (Dina Meyer) that he had diagnosed her with the disorder years ago and there is MUCH more going on than just the disorder. She soon blackmails him to travel to SPAIN to rediagnose/figure out her past which includes a murderer (dont know why she was in Spain) and thus begins a story of twists and turns of the supernatural degree.
Like most supernatural thrillers, you dont actually get the whole picture until the climactic ending. You'll NEVER be able to guess whose fault it all is...... Because they give NO indication AT ALL as to the culprit in this movie. Very "B Movie". Besides the main three actors I think that there was no other person on that set with any experience.

my elementary grading scale: Needs Improvement
1-10: 5

End of America

End of America is a documentary of Naomi Wolf, the author of the same-titled book, that takes a look at America and draws comparisons to Nazi Germany of the 1930's and 40's. Her take on America is that we are following the same 10 steps to fascism that Germany took to lead into its Nazi regime. Very outlandish comparisons resume throughout the documentary that claim that the government has been using events such as 9/11 to evoke fear and use that to create a fascist state.
I totally think that Naomi Wolf is a Moron. But I did like watching the documentary. To say that America is plotting to turn Fascist is so backwards and to compare America's situation to that of a country where millions and millions of people were murdered, put into concentration camps, sought the extermination of a race to create a "perfect" race, and say that our government was similar to them at the time is RIDICULOUS!!!! Wolf states that the governments goal is to evoke fear in its people...Well, how much fear is created when you say that the U.S. is leading to a Nazi-like state?????? Definitely a conversations starter. Enjoy it. Take a deep breath and try not to talk to the TV...

my elementary grading scale: Exceeding Expectations
1-10: 8.5/9

Australia

Set during WWII, the wife of a cattle rancher is forced to take over her estranged husbands cattle farm in the outback of Australia. Nicole Kidman and Hugh Jackman are the stars of this Aussie love/adventure story. This movie was pretty good. I've always been a fan of Australia and the scenery in the movie is great and really gives you a good look at what its like to live out there. It was almost as if Australia became one of the characters because it played a major role in the movie. The terrain, weather, and locations were very important to the outcome of the truamatic and important events throughout the movie.
This movie is very very long however. Almost 3 Hours (165 min.)!!!!!! So make sure you have time to relax before starting the show. I kept thinking the movie was going to be over and then there was more. Fortunately, the Aborigines, fight scenes, dynamic characters, and story were enough to keep me entertained. More of a date movie maybe. Not the one you go see with the boys. But, I was by myself and I liked it.

my elementary grading scale: Progressing Satisfactorily
1-10: 7.5

Role Models

Who wouldnt want Paul Rudd or Sean William Scott as their big brother? Its probably a very short list. Role Models is a story about two men who have to pay for their crimes by becoming part of the Sturdy Wings Program (mock up of the Big Brother Big Sister Program) and in doing so, become attached to the abnormal kids they get put in place with. I watched this twice before writing my review because there are so many parts and lines that deserve being watched again. The cast is full of familiar faces from the Judd Apatow Community and each and every one does their part and then some in contributing to a very comedic movie.
The obscure references, off-beat, lude and sometimes cruel humor in this movie is sure to give you your ab workout for the night. If you enjoy Judd Apatow, you will enjoy this movie.

my elementary grading scale: Progressing Satisfactorily
1-10: 7.5/8

He's Just Not That Into You

The cat has been let out of the bag. The age old secrets that men have been using for years to manipulate women to meet our needs have finally been outed. I can honestly say that I am not TOO familiar with most of the situations in this movie, but I can say that I have definitely used some of the techniques that got these women so frustrated with the male species. I don't know if I am breaking "Man Law" or going against the ancient code of male secrets, but I was kinda relieved that some of these situations were brought into the light by this movie. I was getting sick and tired of hearing story after story with my friends and relatives, the female ones, of guys treating girls like crap and getting away with it. I hope that enough women see this movie and take some key pointers from the likes of Jennifer Anniston, Jennifer Connelly, Drew Barrymore, and surprisingly Justin Long.
Not a movie for kids due to the adult situations but I recommend this movie to all of those girls out there who have NO CLUE as to whats goin on.... I guarantee that all men who go and see this with there significant other, will have a long, detailed, informative discussion about the rules and regulations of the male mindset and dating practices..... Buyer Beware!!!!

my elementary grading scale: Exceeding Expectations
1-10: 8

The Yes Man

Or... Liar Liar: The New Batch. This was a cool movie, but it did constantly bring to mind Jim Carey's former storyline. Yes, the old one was about telling the truth and the new one was about saying yes.... it basically caused similar situations. For all the Flight of the Conchords fans out there, this is a chance to see Bret and Gemaine's boss at work in a movie. He does a great job as Carey's boss and has the same idiotic humor as in his tv-show.
Even though I say that its similar to Liar Liar, I do like it. Maybe because I liked Liar Liar too. All Jim Carey fans can expect is the same facial expressions, humor, physical comedy that we have all grown to love. Its funny.

my elementary grading scale: Progressing Satisfactorily
1-10: 7

Walled In

Hey! Has anyone seen the new Mischa Barton movie about the apartment building modeled after a pyramid and owned by a psychotic family???? You haven't? I didnt think so. I don't recall ever hearing about this so I imagine it went straight to DVD or something. So you get the gist, this movie would be the equivalent to Hannibal Lector building and operating an apartment building and the tenants paying the price for it.
I dont know if I am a chauvinist, or old fashioned, but having Ms. Barton play the role of a Detonation Engineer who is en route to becoming partners with her father in the explosives industry, is just not that believable. Is that bad to say? Part of making a movie is being able to cast people in to the story that seem realistic and in this case, it was not.

my elementary grading scale: Needs Improvement
1-10: 5.5

The International

Okay I apologize to those involved with the making of this movie, but I promise you, I would have found more entertainment watching the Senate filibuster on CNN. Usually, a Clive Owen and Naomi Watts movie should induce some sort of excitement but I assure you that it was full of disdain. I really think that Owen and Watts simply made this movie together for the chance to hang out on set after the the cameras were done rolling.
A failed attempt at Lord of War and a Bourne Identity(ish) storyline. If you want to sit down and watch a movie that you will be SURE to not get any enjoyment out of....go see it. If that doesnt sound like a good plan to you...go watch Lord of War again.

my elementary grading scale: Needs Improvement
1-10: 4.5

The Wrestler

Mickey Rourke delivers as "The Ram" and is just as exciting to watch as he was in Sin City. I was pretty impressed as he really played the role of a "has-been" wrestler struggling to redeem himself. If you don't know by now, I am a fan of redemption stories and this is "the one".
Fans of wrestling will enjoy this movie, and simply fans of great movies will really enjoy it. Though it was fiction, it seemed very true to life and believable and Rourke does a great job. I highly recommend this movie. Plus, Marisa Tomei will always have a special place in my heart thanks to George Costanza and his tomfoolery.

my elementary grading scale: Exceeding Expectations
1-10: 8.5/9

Twilight

This movie MAY be directed towards teen girls because of the strapping lads they cast as the leading men in this movie, however, vampire enthusiasts like myself can still find this movie entertaining. It was definitely a new approach to an old story as we find a vampire family living in suburbia struggling to fit in and live a "vegetarian" (non-human and only animal) lifestyle.
I hear they are going to be making sequels and one is already in the works, so you may as well start watching now to be on the up-and-up by the time the next movies come out. There is enough story outside the teen romance to keep you entertained and for most, exluding a few friends, you will like this movie.

my elementary grading scale: Progressing Satisfactorily
1-10: 7

Nick and Norahs Infinite Playlist

The straight guy in a gay rock band finds romance. Sorry for giving away the plot but I think that you will still enjoy this movie knowing the basis. Michael Cera once again pulls off his quirky performance and you just cant help but root for the guy. Definitely directed more to teens than adults, I definitely could reminisce back to the days of High School and the importance music played in friendships and dating. Im sure you will agree. Music is the soundtrack to our lives!!! I think that we can listen to music and remember exactly who we were with, what we were doing, where we were, and how we felt, just by the single song. Here Cera's love interest falls in love with him simply for the playlists that his (ex)girlfriend is throwing away. Interesting story.

my elementary grading scale: Exceeding Expectations
1-10: 8

My Bloody Valentine

Another Horror movie not released around Halloween put out to give us our fix of blood, gore, and fear. Jensen Ackles fans (of Supernatural) will be pleased with his performance as the lead character as he returns to his hometown where a gruesome murder took place in his past. I like this movie. Mass murdering coal miner movies now have a foundation to go off of. It is definitely the typical horror movie script but Like I said before, that is WHY we watch horror movies.

my elementary grading scale: Progressing Satisfactorily
1-10: 7

Inkheart

Not a good movie. You don't even need to continue reading this entry. There is nothing more to say about it if you just want to know if you should see it or not.... seriously stop reading. really.
I don't like Brendan Fraser. Plain and simple. I can deal with him in The Mummy trilogy but only for the sake of EVERYTHING else in those movies. I dont know what it is about him, but the guy just irritates me. Brendan Frasers character supposedly is able to bring stories to life by the sound of his voice. Well, I dont like his voice. Needless to say, a movie starring him and showing him throughout the movie, is not gonna be my choice at the ticket box office. However, I watched, just so I can talk about it.
Its like a Harry Potter for boring people. Overused story lines and characters, talking animals, and magic. Leave it to J.K. Rowling...

my elementary grading scale: Experiencing Difficulty
1-10: 3.5

The Uninvited

Horror movies with girls are scarier than with boys. Whenever I see that the killer is a woman, I am slightly more scared. The Uninvited went right along those lines... After a "crazy" chick gets back from the asylum, daddy's new girlfriend begins her reign of terror.
Lots of creepy spontaneous shots of scary images, obscure bendable people, and blood.... I'm glad it was just a movie.... I was scared. The first time I started to watch I had to stop... It was too dark in the house and I had to turn some lights on after 30 minutes into the movie. I guess I am a wuss...but i guess that makes for a good scary movie. Elizabeth Banks does a surprisingly good job as a non-comedy actress.... props to her.

my elementary grading scale: progressing satisfactorily
1-10: 6.5

Gran Torino

Clint Eastwood is a B.A.! Even at the ripe old age of 78 he can still kick butt. An angry old man was he who struggled to keep up with the changing times and neighborhood. Kind of a redemptive movie in that you see a veteran of the Korean War come around at the end. And we know all Americans love stories of redemption. Its in our blood or something. I highly recommend this movie just so that you can pick up some good insults to throw out at youngsters when you are an old fogey.
Entertaining the whole way through, comedy is mixed in with Eastwoods character and the storyline is good. You can follow it the whole way through without question and it still keeps you waiting for the next scene. Go see it!

my elementary grading scale: Exceeding Expectations
1-10: 8.5

Underworld: Rise of the Lycans

Part 3 of a monster movie series... Like they say, sequels are only good if they are planned for at the time of the original.Not sayin its bad.... just not great. New Actress, same story line, but its a prequel. Vamps hate Werewolves and vice versa, so lets make a hybrid to solve the prob. I like vampire movies and this is your typical dark, emotionless, bloody vampire movie with romance somehow weasled in there. Its the type of movie that if you like the genre, then you will like the movie. Its not the type of movie where you say, " wow that was good acting!" or you wouldnt say it was bad. They acted JUST like vampires and werewolves. The new main girl is okay...she is no Kate Beckinsdale.

my elementary grading scale: Progressing Satisfactorily
1-10: 6.5

Push

Star Wars on Earth! I think this may have been a better name.... I honestly paused this movie like 20 times when watching.... aka: I was bored. This movie portrays what would happen if Jedis walked the earth and fought eachother. I like Star Wars. But only "a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away". Jedis in present day fighting in the streets didnt have the same effect on me as George Lucas' version.
And another thing. Dakota Fanning. She is grown up now and has lost some of her childlike charm that she had in I am Sam, War of the Worlds, and her others..... She was a child actor so she has grown up in the biz, so her acting is very real and she does a good job...but Dakota is not who I am wanting to see in this role.....
Overall, its sci-fi, mystery, suspense(ish), and some action wrapped up into an okay movie. The effects are cool though..... Darth Vader woulda kicked all their butts.

my elementary grading scale. Needs Improvement
1-10: 5.5

Paul Blart: Mall Cop

Kevin James fans, enjoy the movie! I myself am a fan. But if I wasn't, I can see how people would equate this to every other "stupid" humor movies. Kevin James does a great job of being the Kevin James we all, most of us, love and for that reason, I enjoyed it. I feel that most people with a GED or above could have written the script for this movie however. I might have watched Mr. James doing a stand-up routine and enjoyed it a little more but I dont think stand up routines sell too many tickets at the movie theaters.
I am definitely NOT knocking stupid humor movies because I am a bold defendant of Dumb and Dumber, Zoolander, Kung Pow: Enter the Fist and all the like.... but I DO think this movie could be a little better. Like I said, Kevin James fans....Enjoy the movie.

My grade on the elementary grading scale: Progressing Satisfactorily
1-10: 6

Friday the 13th

Jason is Back!!! Again...... but this time its a remake so I guess its okay. I relate this to the Halloween remake because it gives a look back to a time where the killer was still trying to find himself. His inner Chi if you will.... Why does Jason wear a hockey mask? Well, now you will know..... Why does he have so much anger? well, guess what???? It's all here folks.
This, I believe, would make the 12th Jason movie and it definitely has its place. I knew what I was getting in to when I sat down, and the capabilities and advancements of modern movie making did not let me down. Its the basic horror movie plot, but is that not the reason we go see them???

My grade on the elementary grading scale: Exceeding Expectations
1-10: 7.5

And So It Begins.....

Hello Very Few,
This is it. Due to peer pressure from a friend, I have finally been convinced to start blogging about all the movies I have been fortunate/unfortunate/forced to see. I will start with the most recent movies and work my way back. I'm still trying to figure out how I am going to format this, but I think its going to be a blog/movie type deal....... Let me just tell you what I have seen, that is popular, in the last couple weeks.... Friday the 13th, Paul Blart: Mall Cop, Push, Underworld: Rise of the Lycans, Gran Torino, The Uninvited, Inkheart, My Bloody Valentine, Nick and Norahs Infinite Playlist, Twilight, and The Wrestler......plus many obscure, old, OLD, and various movies along with. I told you I had a lot of time.